Christmas Letter 2022
We just finished our first full calendar year in the beautiful sunshine state of Florida, and we absolutely love it here. The warm, sandy beaches, amazing sunsets, lightning storms that are better than fireworks, and abundant wildlife makes our new state fantastic, or to use Cheryl’s favorite word “fabulous!” Yeah, it rains in the summer months and hurricane season is a real thing, but we’re okay with all of it. More on the hurricane topic in just a bit.
“Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace.”
~ Amelia Earhart (1897 - 1937), Courage, 1927
Soggy second story, an adventure in restoration, remodeling, and running water
In November, 2021 we discovered our master bathroom shower pan failed and had been soaking into the subfloor for a couple months before finally making an appearance through the dining room ceiling, which is immediately below. We were faced with the difficult task of redesigning the entire master bathroom about two years ahead of our original schedule.
Cheryl and I negotiated the new design over a glass of wine and quickly agreed and had another glass to celebrate. It was magical! The last bathroom redesign discussion lasted more than a month. Fortunately, we filed an insurance claim and we had started contacting licensed contractors for quotes using the Downing-approved design. Unfortunately, there are a lot of contractors around here that are not licensed or say they are when in fact they are not. A business license and a contractors license, in fact, are two distinctly different things. Silly people, anyhow.
The final touch is my own handiwork: a water-wall! We can enjoy the sight and sound of non-stop flowing water with mood lighting that matches lights beneath the vanity. Nothing tugs at your romantic heart stings like a mood-lit water-wall. Also, nothing tugs at your bladder like constantly flowing water!
Marching over Manhattan
In the spring, I made my first trip to Manhattan. Before leaving, I enjoyed the advice and counsel of my wife and several friends who lived or worked in Manhattan. Do this… don’t do this… don’t look like a tourist… do eat at a bodega… do eat pizza by the slice… don’t take the wrong subway… do ask transit police for directions… respect umbrella protocol on the streets… don’t smile at people or make eye contact EVER. I followed most of the advice, but I didn’t ask for directions from the transit police because I had Cheryl! The seasoned New Yorker with mad skills at navigating the public transit system kept me on track.
I did make it to the top of the Empire State Building with the help of a past work comrade with access. Unfortunately, the top viewing area on the 102nd floor was tucked high into a thick rain cloud, complete with strong winds to ward off any silly tourist thinking to venture outside at that height. Well, I was that silly tourist! Yes, indeed! I walked briskly around the 102nd floor observation deck pressing through stinging rain and torrential winds. Sure, I was drenched but I refused to pass up a chance like that!
Good grief the girl is golfing
Last Christmas I gave Cheryl a starter set of golf clubs. She’d been saying before Christmas that she wasn’t interested, so that clearly meant she needed a set of clubs, because I’m a good listener. Well, our friends were so gracious to give her tips that it didn’t take long for her to apply those tips and start playing pretty well! She’s so in-tune with her body mechanics, someone could say she needed to move her pinky toe to the left while swinging her driver, and she’d totally make it work. We’re golfing more, and now she looks forward to it! Listen to your lady, gentlemen! It pays off :-)
Touristy things
This year we finally made it to SeaWorld, GatorLand, and Busch Gardens. GatorLand is the oldest theme park in Florida, and the gators, crocodiles, wildlife, etc. were awesome! The jumping gator demonstration was everything you might think of if dinosaurs suddenly launched up from the depths to grab whole chickens from some underpaid dude’s hand just for the crowd’s enjoyment.
Sophia (9 years old) loved SeaWorld, although she was ¼” too short to ride the big roller coasters. Dolphins were her favorite, but the seal and sea otter show was a close second. I convinced her to go on the Atlantis water ride with me toward the end of the day, but it didn’t take long before she started yelling “I’M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!” and “THAT’S IT! I’M DONE! NEVER AGAIN!” Come to find out, the scary evil face about two minutes into the ride didn’t sit well with her, then the long blind drop only further exacerbated her trauma, and finally one last set of blind drops and a lot of tossing about proved to be the final straw. She ran to Cheryl who gave her a moment to vent and a few minutes of mom-hugs to make it all better. So, I’m going out on a limb here to say that she may not have enjoyed the Atlantis ride very much.
Busch Gardens is a totally different story. Cheryl and Sophia hit several of the fast roller coasters, but the Cheetah Hunt shook them up the most. It’s one of the faster rides in Florida, and I just happened to capture a picture of their pure joy as they raced by. I’m not a huge fan of roller coasters, but what I really, really don’t like are the rides for little kids. Yes, I said it. Those little carts that are top-heavy, leaning hard as the cart does hairpin turns 40 feet above the hard earth below. One sharp turn after the next, over and over and over, The bolts are loose, I can feel it. I’m barely wedged into the cart like a gorilla in a shoebox, and I’m towering above the already unstable cart, which lurches well beyond the safety of the tracks, which I’m confident will break the angle of repose at any moment, sending me and my family down four stories to our horrible demise. I’ve decided I’d rather go on rides like Cheetah Hunt that may be seriously fast, but they aren’t designed to thin the population of people over 6 ft tall.
Peace in Preparation
This year we stared into the face of nature's fury, not once but twice. Sort of. For a moment, at least. Hurricanes Ian and Nicole targeted Florida this year, and for a few long hours, Ian was projected to plow right into us. The spaghetti mess of weather forecast lines suggested its eye was heading directly over our house. Fortunately, we’re not in an evacuation zone, even if it did smack right into us. Fortunately, we’re fully prepared for an extended stay without utilities. Fortunately, we were at peace and positioned to help others in need. Fortunately, we had a lot of toilet paper, just in case there was a run on the stores for that precious commodity. A great bartering tool, as the start of COVID taught us. Fortunately, Tampa hasn’t had a direct hit for over 102 years, and that record still holds to this day. Ian decided to suddenly side-step to the east and destroy a beautiful community a couple hours south of us. We had gray skies and mild winds, but nothing like it could have been.
Then… a late storm attacked the east side of the state and marched across the land directly toward us. Even after crossing the state, diminishing as it did, we had more wind and rain than Ian ever delivered to us. Even so, we fared exceptionally well, even though there were surrounding communities that did lose power and utilities. For us, it was like a typical weather front in Oregon, but with gators and palm trees.
Tooth Trauma
Let’s take a quick step back to the early years of the John & Cheryl dynasty when things were new and fresh, like the pizza we enjoyed one summer evening. The pizza was delicious, with artichoke hearts and an amazing white sauce. The artichoke hearts, as it turned out, had a very fresh piece of gravel that shattered my upper-right molar! The pizza shop owner paid for the tooth repair, which seemed Roman-built. Nothing was going to move that massive metal filling! That was back then…. This is now.
The tooth held up for nearly 15 years, but then slowly over the year, contact with anything other than lukewarm temperatures brought intense pain that finally grew unbearable. The dentist couldn’t help. He referred me to a specialist to do a root canal the next day. Well, that specialist couldn’t help either, although he showed great mercy on me and cored the root out just to ease the pain. Neither my dentist or root canal specialist could pull the tooth for some reason, although I certainly asked them to just yank it out and I’ll take it from there. Nope! Here comes yet another specialist into my life, but not for nearly three weeks! Sheesh, my DIY garage solutions were starting to look somewhat reasonable. Fortunately, Cheryl reminded me that self-performing medical procedures haven't worked well in the past, although I have been known to give it a try. The specialist pulled the tooth out in roughly 13.6 seconds and sent me on my way, toothless and happy on my Harley. Sure, it took about a week to work through the recovery, but I made it like a trooper. Sadly, they kept my tooth and the tooth fairy didn’t leave anything under my pillow. I guess there needs to be a physical exchange, tooth for coin, and she holds firm to that policy. Does the dental office staff stash freshly pulled teeth under their pillows at the end of each day? Is that why they all drive exotic vehicles? I want to know!!!
A "little" change
For those that know Cheryl, she enjoys scooting around in her go-kart, I mean MINI Cooper. The little thing can corner like there isn’t a cop for miles around. And when it comes to style, the sporty, black custom stripes and pink license plate frame that says “Forget my driving, how’s my hair?”, there’s just no doubt this little thing belongs to Cheryl. However, the MINI serves as our family car, and I’m occasionally teased when people see me driving or crawling to get out from only inches off the ground. Yes, it only has 5.7 inches of ground clearance, and as I’m 6’4”, that’s pretty low. It’s not uncommon for some of my buddies to say I look like a gorilla in a shoebox or similar jab. The fact remains that it’s pretty close to the truth.
The MINI started showing signs of mechanical issues I was ill equipped to contend with, and any warranty was far in the rearview mirror. The saying in our family is “Dad fixes everything”, but that’s more of a generalization, although I do have a wide range of skills that keep things going. Rebuilding or swapping an engine of a European vehicle only slightly bigger than my favorite Hot Wheels car is what I potentially faced. So, what do we do? We go scouting around for a newer MINI.
As it turns out, after seriously considering a different brand of vehicle, which lasted a grueling 3.84 minutes, MINI Cooper remained as the front runner for our next vehicle. So off we went to hunt for our next MINI. Fun fact: BMW (maker of MINI) capitalizes the name MINI to differentiate from the old style, which is simply Mini.
Anyhow, back to the story. We found a dealer across Tampa with a nice inventory, but the slightly used vehicles always had something missing. We would be stepping backward in style and features just to have a newer vehicle. Not cool for my family! So I pointed across the car lot and said, “let’s take a look at that one.” Cheryl’s face spoke volumes with concern, dismay, curiosity and some excitement. The sales lady said it was loaded and brand new. Others looked at it but couldn’t pass the finance requirements. So, it sat there all dressed up but nowhere to go. So we looked. Then we drove. Then we negotiated. Then we traded in our older MINI and drove it home. During the negotiations, we noticed something a bit off with the sales lady and the sales manager. They didn’t seem to know how to negotiate very well. When the deal was finished and we were getting prepared to leave, the sales lady said they hadn’t experienced anyone negotiate like that for over two years, and they weren’t really prepared for it. I can say with great confidence that we got an AMAZING deal on the purchase and the trade in, and Sophia even gets a free MINI t-shirt as part of my final bargaining I tossed in at the last minute. That took them by surprise as they agreed to everything I asked for, and it lightened the mood, bringing some humor back into the room. So there you have it, Cheryl’s fully loaded, top-of-the-line MINI Cooper that fits her and Sophia’s size and style, and my need for a great car at a fantastic price. Yeah, it could be a bit bigger, but my wife and daughter love the car, and that makes it the perfect car for our family.
Hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and an amazing 2023!
"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”
~ Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
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