Christmas Letter 2023

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

~ Anne Bradstreet, 1612-1672

2023 comes to an end with a huge sigh of relief from deep within our home and hearts. When you end one year and look forward to the next, you just never really know what's in store, which holds true throughout the last 20 years of these annual Christmas Letters. This year was no different! Hold onto your seats as we welcome you to share in another year of the Downing Christmas Letter! 

Overall, 2023 wasn't terrible, it was simply unexpected. It could have been terrible, though. Yes, the possibility of terribleness seemed to be a very real edge to fall off of. However, getting through difficult times, for us, is set on pillars of prayer, preparation, and persistence. Three P’s to live by. 

Ironclad Marriages with hugs!

At the start of the year, Cheryl and I taught a 10-week marriage class through our church. We named the class Ironclad Marriages. We had an amazing experience working as a team to help couples, not only work through their own challenges, but to embrace new, healthy relationship skills. Using Cheryl's expression, it was FABULOUS! 

Here’s a fun fact: Scientifically, hugging your spouse for 30-seconds (without patting their back) releases neurochemicals, such as the hormone oxytocin, which plays an important role in social bonding, slows down heart rate, and reduces stress and anxiety levels. We all could use a little more oxytocin in our day, right? This is best with a spouse or significant other, rather than strangers who might resist. In my opinion, the one-armed, 1.22-second, shoulder-to-shoulder hug is a good gesture for everyone else. The manly, one-hand clasp, shoulder/chest bump is good as well, unless you’re significantly taller, then it’s awkward bumping belly against chest. 

During the class series, we made a switch to Sophia's educational experience from a traditional, albeit private, classroom-style setting to a homeschooling setting. It was interesting going through a transition to homeschooling while teaching a class about marriage, which includes parenting. It wasn't what we wanted to do, it's what we had to do. A number of reasons wove the fabric of our decision, but after much thought, it was the best for this season. Sophia ultimately finished 4th grade curriculum in six months, and she's on track to finish fifth grade by May, 2024. She is super smart, but it's her generous heart that carries her through life.

Gifts from a Girl

Her heart, by the way, helped her raise enough money to sponsor five children for Christmas through our church’s community assistance center! She sold a ton of cookies, and many people joined her passion and donated money to the cause. Sophia glowed when she realized her efforts brought in enough to sponsor the five kids when her original target was only two. 

I know I just broke away from the chronological events of 2023, but the subject seemed worthy of jumping around 2023 a bit. 

Let’s see… where was I…? All this jumping around threw off my story. Well, let’s go with this one next:

Impacts for All!

The summer afternoon of June 4th started like most in Florida - tall, dramatic clouds constantly changing shape as the thunderstorms gathered in the gulf. Those ominous clouds promised to deliver a healthy dose of rain for about 15 minutes before heading into the distance. This day, however, came with a twist. I was riding my Harley. Cheryl and Sophia were in the MINI Cooper. I was in the lead as we parted from our friend’s house, cruising through several communities heading home. Almost immediately, the wind turned monstrous, tearing limbs from the trees, and casting debris across the roads we traveled. Then came the rain. Not small rain, but insane volumes lashing sideways with the wind. The term “torrential” really doesn’t do justice to the rain. Within minutes, the streets began to flood. Heavy currents grew past the gutters and filled the streets. 

My motorcycle was doing fine as long as I didn’t go too fast, which caused the front end to shutter violently. Interestingly, I’ve ridden through floodwaters in the past. The Willamette River in Corvallis, Oregon spilled its banks, and I rode about 1,000 feet through the flooded highway. So, I’m a seasoned professional! Cheryl and I were talking on the phone via my Bluetooth helmet, and she suggested that the MINI could help clear a path for me and stay on the crown of the road, if one existed. She took the lead, and her idea worked well, dodging branches, blocking the wind and navigating along the highpoints on the roads.

We were a few miles from home still, when I heard Sophia proclaim, “I think it’s starting to hail!” I responded with doubt and a deep hope that it wasn’t so. Seconds later, I felt the hail against my arms. I did have a waterproof windbreaker over my biker vest, but I didn’t have a leather jacket to protect myself. At first, the hail popped off my arms, hands and helmet in small, fragile pellets. Then the hail got a little bigger, and I began to feel the impact. Cheryl asked how I was doing, riding through the violent wind, rain, flood, and now hail. I told her I was fine and to keep going. 

That lasted for another minute or so, and I found myself getting pummeled by hailstones the size of quarters. Yes, it hurt… It hurt a lot! I told Cheryl I’d had enough, and I spotted a long driveway to a public maintenance yard about 200 feet ahead on the left. I followed her into the turning lane with my hazards on behind her. The oncoming lane was clear of vehicles, and she began her left turn into the driveway. 

Suddenly, from behind us, driving the wrong way, a car raced up, hitting the MINI in the rear driver's door. I watched my wife and daughter get hit! The driver attempted to go around her, but I blocked him with my motorcycle, to his great frustration. While Cheryl pulled the car up the driveway, I waved the driver to follow her, which he did. The man jumped out of his car, waving his arms around, yelling at Cheryl as she sat with her doors locked. He accused her of wrecking his car and that he couldn’t afford another accident. That’s right - another accident! Recognizing the man as a potential physical threat to my family, I engaged my drill sergeant/ Darth Vader persona, and said some things I’m not going to put in this Christmas Letter. They were not cheerful, to be sure. Fortunately, his demeanor transitioned to a more amicable state as he realized this rather large biker was the husband of the lady he just hit. 

The driver said the large hailstones started to shatter his windshield, and he panicked. He desperately needed to get under cover at the Shell station down the road, and couldn’t stay in the line of vehicles moving too slow for his panic-stricken mind. Fortunately, during our interaction, the hail stopped and the rain subsided enough to deal with the issue at hand. The girls were sore and needed chiropractic care, and the car was repaired without any challenge from the driver’s insurance. Everything is back to normal now. We’re thankful that I was not in the lane when the guy decided to lose his ever-loving-mind and smack right into the MINI. To be sure, my Harley wouldn’t have fared as well. 

Three P's in Action

While I’m bouncing around 2023, let’s back up to May. Again, during our Ironclad Marriage class, I had a quick transition from full-time employment to being an independent business consultant. For us, as it turns out, Cinco de Mayo was not a day to celebrate the 1862 victorious battle where the Mexican army handed the French a swift beating. It was a day that marked the beginning of a race to build a consulting business. Feliz Cinco de Mayo. 

What emerged was The North Star Advantage, LLC. As the summer seemed to fly by, I picked up some business start-up gigs, along with several projects focused on operational analysis and growth strategies, one of which was nearly a month long.  

Remember when I said our lives are set on the three P’s: prayer, preparation, and persistence? In the case of starting my consulting business, preparation wasn’t available, but prayer and persistence certainly were. Our preparation over the last five years or so, however, served us well, although not without a heightened persistence to pinch pennies along the way. 

To answer the question that may be on your mind: Yes, I did search for full-time, permanent employment. I searched A LOT! My resume is robust, but rather specialized, and cross-over skills are a challenge to communicate through the application process. Pressing forward to bring money into the home was a key priority, and the frustration of receiving a steady flow of rejection emails really weighed on us. Yes, it weighed on us, but did not break us. We pressed in and pushed through. Winston Churchill once said “It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.” This is how we lived for the remainder of 2023.

I think the opportunity to work through these tough seasons during the time we were teaching a marriage class gave us an opportunity to not only be open and real with the class, but to practice what we preach. We did not battle one-another, which would have been an easy trap to fall into. We sought God’s perspective and direction daily, and the testimonies that came from this season are amazing! It’s best summed up like this: Wow, simply wow!

Casting my net one more time

We had the three P’s fully engaged, doing what we could to keep pressing forward, and then we had a very concerning glimpse at the bottom of our reserve account. In October, God gave me specific direction to make another attempt to find a job in the field of my specialty, even though my previous attempts came up empty. I cast my request to a handful of folks I knew in the industry, and I immediately received a hot lead! I jumped on it, and over the following weeks I was interviewed several times, and negotiated a national manager’s position with a large construction company. God’s timing is impeccable, and is beyond coincidence when the moving parts that lead up to my hiring are explored. Pretty amazing!

2023 comes to a close with a renewed drive and purpose, a much deeper level of faith, and a host of amazing testimonies to share. If you take anything from our 2023 Christmas Letter, remember the three P’s for you and your family! Be well!

“In adversity remember to keep an even mind.” 

~ Horace, 65 BC-8BC

John and Cheryl Downing